Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
