i don't plan on having that self control this summer
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
that's an acceptable place to lick
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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