how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
