At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
