You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
