Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You work out of a Hotel?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
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I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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