Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
