3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
