apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize