Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
