Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
