ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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