May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
