in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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