saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
