we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
