I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
