12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
