i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just forgot I was standing up.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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