My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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