hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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