I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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