I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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