I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
