Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
