He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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