I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize