Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
