You work out of a Hotel?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
