I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
