Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize