omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
