Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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