I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
