That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
