Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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