Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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