remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
