I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
