So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
