just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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