that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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