yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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