we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
