Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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