Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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