so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
