So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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