SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
