My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
