Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dicks are not precious.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
