Define "chronic" masturbator.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
