he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
