Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
