; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
