That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
