You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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