Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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