Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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