I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
