i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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